Once, a mother lion observed one of her cubs chasing a hunter in circles around a tree. The mother lion exclaimed, 'How many times do I have to tell you not to play with your dinner?'
A large company was having a board meeting. The board meeting was being held in a room with a long table in it. The Chairman of the Board sat at one end of the table, and there were board members seated along both sides. But, at the other end of the table sat a lion. A new board member was attending the meeting for the first time. He saw the lion, so he asked the Chairman, "Sir, why is there a lion seated at the far end of the table?" The Chairman replied, " Mr. Murphy, you have been a businessman all these years, and you still don't know about the bottom lion?"
A man and his pretty wife were strolling through the zoo when the male lion started following the woman's every move with his eyes. The husband said, "I think you have made a conquest. Wink at him." And she did, and at this the lion started stirring about restlessly. "Now blow him a kiss." She did, and the lion roared longingly at her and began lashing his tail. "That's enough," the husband said, hoisting her into the air and tossing her over the railing into the lion's enclosure. "Now tell HIM you have a headache!"
A man was walking a lion down the street when they were stopped by a police officer. The police officer said, "You should't be walking that lion down the street, you need to take him to the zoo." The man replies, "OK, I will." The next day the same police officer sees the man out walking the lion again. The police officer said, "I thought I told you to take that lion to the zoo!" The man replies, "I did, and today I'm taking him to the movies!"
There was a zoo that was not having a good day. In the morning, the Head Bird Keeper found two dead finches in the Aviary. Things were worse in the Primate House; there were two dead chimpanzees. The Lion Keeper, wanting to be efficient, made his rounds and collected the dead animals. He then unceremoniously threw them to the lions. One of the lions, on observing what was for lunch, said, "Oh no! Not Finch and Chimps!"
A large company was having a board meeting. The board meeting was being held in a room with a long table in it. The Chairman of the Board sat at one end of the table, and there were board members seated along both sides. But, at the other end of the table sat a lion. A new board member was attending the meeting for the first time. He saw the lion, so he asked the Chairman, "Sir, why is there a lion seated at the far end of the table?" The Chairman replied, " Mr. Murphy, you have been a businessman all these years, and you still don't know about the bottom lion?"
A man and his pretty wife were strolling through the zoo when the male lion started following the woman's every move with his eyes. The husband said, "I think you have made a conquest. Wink at him." And she did, and at this the lion started stirring about restlessly. "Now blow him a kiss." She did, and the lion roared longingly at her and began lashing his tail. "That's enough," the husband said, hoisting her into the air and tossing her over the railing into the lion's enclosure. "Now tell HIM you have a headache!"
A man was walking a lion down the street when they were stopped by a police officer. The police officer said, "You should't be walking that lion down the street, you need to take him to the zoo." The man replies, "OK, I will." The next day the same police officer sees the man out walking the lion again. The police officer said, "I thought I told you to take that lion to the zoo!" The man replies, "I did, and today I'm taking him to the movies!"
There was a zoo that was not having a good day. In the morning, the Head Bird Keeper found two dead finches in the Aviary. Things were worse in the Primate House; there were two dead chimpanzees. The Lion Keeper, wanting to be efficient, made his rounds and collected the dead animals. He then unceremoniously threw them to the lions. One of the lions, on observing what was for lunch, said, "Oh no! Not Finch and Chimps!"